From Soccer Mom to Tantrika

I get questions quite a bit about how I got into the field of sexology and more specifically, how it is that I am leading tantra workshops. Most of these questions come from my old friends, neighbors, and sometimes, clients. In fairness to my friends that I haven’t kept up with over the years, it is a valid question. When some of my friends knew me, my children were young, and I was the first to volunteer in my children’s schools, after school activities and their social life. I have had the great privilege of being homeroom mom, Cub Scout leader, art mom, library mom, and soccer mom, to mention a few positions that I held. So, it’s no surprise that they are a bit confused!

Fast forward a few years, I am in the field of sexology and lead tantra workshops. I believe that our sexuality is part of who we are and we can not healthily separate our sex from our selves. As a woman, mom, and sex therapist, my vision is to embrace and celebrate our sexuality and to assist others in that process, especially in the face of misinformation, fear, pain, trauma, and sexual dysfunctions

My interest in tantric sexuality and consequent spiritual path appeared when I least expected it. It started with learning about tantra through research for my dissertation in clinical sexology. It seemed that tantric articles kept popping up during my literature search. Each article built on the intrigue of the article before it.

As I have witnessed, Tantra sexuality seems to carry with it unknowns, misconceptions, myths, and confusion. I find most of the general public doesn’t know what tantra sexuality actually is and definitions are so varied, it is hard to understand. Part of the reason is that tantra is an experiential spiritual path. Meaning that one must experience it to get an understanding of what tantra is. What tantra is not: it is not a religion, it is not a cult, it doesn’t have rules or regulations and it includes everyone! For me, the greatest allure is the sacredness of tantra. Tantra reveres sex, reveres all beings, and reveres the body as blessed and divine. Imagine that….no matter what shape, size, and age of our bodies, we are divine! Tantra encourages looking past the personality and into the divine of each person to which we connect.

Tantra is the weaving of spirit and sex. Through an awareness and consciousness of our energies we are able to shift our energy throughout our bodies, which can enhance our depth of connection with ourselves and our partner. Tantra partnering includes honest communication, eye gazing, and fully tapping into our senses by means of touching, tasting, smelling, seeing, and hearing. Practices of tantra include fully breathing, breathwork, visualization, and meditation.

I knew at the time I was studying tantra that all that tantra encompassed is what I wanted in my life. I wanted to feel the aliveness and depth of a spiritual connection in my sexual encounters with my partner, I wanted to know and appreciate the wholeness of my body which the tantric path encourages, I wanted a greater continuity of relationship with myself, my spirit, and spiritual connection and all those that are close and important to me. Not only did I know I wanted this way of living, I felt other people might also want this, especially, my clients, friends, and colleagues. I believed then and I believe now, that sex is a spiritual event. As I see it, if more people viewed and experienced sex as spiritual, there would be fewer sexual dysfunctions (for some), fewer sexual disconnects and people would feel more open to experience their sexuality fully and in general, may feel more joyful.

The following upcoming tantra workshops are:

January 18-19, 2008 - Introduction to Sacred Sexuality for Couples

January 25-26, 2008 - Introduction to Sacred Sexuality for Couples

April 25-26, 2008 - Introduction to Sacred Sexuality for Couples

September 26-27, 2008 - Introduction to Sacred Sexuality for Couples

These workshops are held in Boca Raton, FL at the Boca Raton Bridge Hotel for couples. For info or to register, Call Sally Valentine, PhD, LCSW at 561-391-3305 or e-mail at valentinecounsel@aol.com or www.valentinecounsel.com . 12 AASECT/or FL 491 CEU’s per workshop. This program meets the requirements of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) and is approved for 12 CE credits. These CE credits may be applied toward AASECT certification and renewal of certification.